ugh... Okay I haven't posted like everything I do in life when I am unhappy with something I withdraw... I cheated this entire last week, and I put on a ridiculous amount of weight back on...
I am not thrilled about it obviously, and wasn't even going to blog about it... because of the admittance factor that food over rules my mind @ times. How ridiculously embarrassing..
So here I am back at 372 ~ WTH did I eat that compiled so much weight??? actually yesterday I was at 376.8 but We went to Jamba Juice because I have been freaking constipated like you would not believe... I got a double detox shot of wheat grass...which is supposed to be equivalent to eating 5 lbs of veggies @ only 15 calories! smelled like my donkeys poop... literally like fresh cut grass and poop ~ tasted like what I would imagine juiced grass would taste like icky but well worth what came out of me later that eve... I woke up to being 4 lbs lighter ... and I still feel blocked - :/ so today I kick back into full gear, my cheat was it worth it? No... of course not, all that hard work and dedication what took a week to gain will take who knows how long to lose , again I am not sure how I put on so much aside the fact it was the week of my period.. which is finally stopping - (maybe i have some retention there) dunno? but I didn't eat cakes, cookies, candy, soda, breads, I did have a couple of my fave coffee drinks which I know are fattening... I had a lot of meat and veggies ~ I do need to say this, "normal food" made me miserable every time I ate I felt sick ~ my tummy ached and I just felt icky... I am okay with this, food is a blessing from above , and should be used to nourish our bodies, and celebrate HIM, not the fact... that I can cook and eat and eat and eat...
I don't expect any pity I sure the heck don't deserve it nor WANT IT - I just need to be honest with myself - and with those of you who have cared enough to see how I am REALLY doing.
So on that note, lets see if I can undo this damage and get back on track on where I need to be heading!
Self flogging session now over!
I am not thrilled about it obviously, and wasn't even going to blog about it... because of the admittance factor that food over rules my mind @ times. How ridiculously embarrassing..
So here I am back at 372 ~ WTH did I eat that compiled so much weight??? actually yesterday I was at 376.8 but We went to Jamba Juice because I have been freaking constipated like you would not believe... I got a double detox shot of wheat grass...which is supposed to be equivalent to eating 5 lbs of veggies @ only 15 calories! smelled like my donkeys poop... literally like fresh cut grass and poop ~ tasted like what I would imagine juiced grass would taste like icky but well worth what came out of me later that eve... I woke up to being 4 lbs lighter ... and I still feel blocked - :/ so today I kick back into full gear, my cheat was it worth it? No... of course not, all that hard work and dedication what took a week to gain will take who knows how long to lose , again I am not sure how I put on so much aside the fact it was the week of my period.. which is finally stopping - (maybe i have some retention there) dunno? but I didn't eat cakes, cookies, candy, soda, breads, I did have a couple of my fave coffee drinks which I know are fattening... I had a lot of meat and veggies ~ I do need to say this, "normal food" made me miserable every time I ate I felt sick ~ my tummy ached and I just felt icky... I am okay with this, food is a blessing from above , and should be used to nourish our bodies, and celebrate HIM, not the fact... that I can cook and eat and eat and eat...
I don't expect any pity I sure the heck don't deserve it nor WANT IT - I just need to be honest with myself - and with those of you who have cared enough to see how I am REALLY doing.
So on that note, lets see if I can undo this damage and get back on track on where I need to be heading!
Self flogging session now over!
